Ruttlencet is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, omnipotent ferret.

Ruttlencet created oxygen seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttlencet, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ruttlencet, she will turn you into a goat.

Ruttlencet's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Ruttlencet's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ruttlencet.

5. Always wear turquoise.