Beprullhon is a god.

It takes the form of a large, self-confident giraffe.

Beprullhon created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Beprullhon, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Beprullhon, it will turn you into a puffin.

Beprullhon's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Beprullhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near turtles while wearing magenta jumpers.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Do not sprint in public.