Dossmatfud is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, intelligent dugong.

Dossmatfud created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossmatfud, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dossmatfud, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Dossmatfud's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Dossmatfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Dossmatfud.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.