Hotjankon is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, grumpy coyote.

Hotjankon created the Milkyway six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotjankon, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hotjankon, he will torture you forever.

Hotjankon's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Hotjankon's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not wear black clothing.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

5. Never hurt ducks.