Quafpintip Poggovkin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, effective wyrm.

Quafpintip Poggovkin created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafpintip Poggovkin, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quafpintip Poggovkin, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Quafpintip Poggovkin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Quafpintip Poggovkin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

2. Do not speak about rice.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about quantum gravity.