Quamjennib is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, cheerful beaver.

Quamjennib created the Cigar Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Quamjennib, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamjennib, he will torture you forever.

Quamjennib's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Quamjennib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not take Quamjennib's name in vain.

5. Never wear coats.