Lamfidart is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, boastful goose.

Lamfidart created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamfidart, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lamfidart, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lamfidart's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Lamfidart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near goats while wearing orange corsets and balancing five titanium spheres on your hands.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Do not resist balance.

4. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

5. Always maintain purity during holy days.