Vag is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unselfish wolf.

Vag created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vag, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vag, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Vag's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Vag's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the north during autumn.

2. You must never eat limes.

3. Always wear red.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Never look in ponds.