Talnelvog is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, boastful wren.

Talnelvog created Asia two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Talnelvog, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Talnelvog, he will turn you into a puffin.

Talnelvog's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Talnelvog's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Talnelvog.

2. Never feed carrots to seals while wearing turquoise scarves.

3. Never think about solid mechanics.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. You must never eat strawberries.