Mitcambun is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, moody mongoose.

Mitcambun created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitcambun, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Mitcambun, she will not invite you to parties.

Mitcambun's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Mitcambun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about nematodes.

4. Do not keep seven dolphins in a large pit.

5. Erect six iron sculptures of Mitcambun on top of important buildings.