Bafnelvan is a god.

He takes the form of a large, caring bird.

Bafnelvan created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafnelvan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bafnelvan, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bafnelvan's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Bafnelvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near bats while wearing mauve ear rings and balancing five platinum spheres on your feet.

4. Run away from cyan swans, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about special relativity.