Gonganlarp is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, omnipotent dog.

Gonganlarp created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonganlarp, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gonganlarp, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gonganlarp's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Gonganlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near otters.

2. You must never eat turnips.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

5. Gonganlarp loves eagles, so they must be respected.