Cat is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, narcissistic turtle.

Cat created light four years ago.

If you believe in Cat, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cat, she will destroy your home planet.

Cat's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Cat's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

2. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near monkeys while wearing turquoise tights.

5. Never paint your chest black.