Flabgumham is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, self-assured warg.

Flabgumham created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flabgumham, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flabgumham, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flabgumham's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Flabgumham's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine geese approach from the east.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flabgumham.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help sick goats.