Dumgeptab is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, generous otter.

Dumgeptab created viruses two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumgeptab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Dumgeptab, he will destroy your home planet.

Dumgeptab's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Dumgeptab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Do not eat spinach.

3. Never talk about nucleic acids.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dumgeptab.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.