Pakwotmot is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unthinking bee.

Pakwotmot created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakwotmot, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pakwotmot, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Pakwotmot's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Pakwotmot's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Pakwotmot.

2. Hide if eight cats approach from the south.

3. Never think about spacetime near shrews while wearing yellow coats and balancing five zinc spheres on your feet.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

5. Pakwotmot loves seals, so they must be honoured.