Volwatcan is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonest hummingbird.

Volwatcan created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Volwatcan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Volwatcan, she will turn you into a worm.

Volwatcan's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Volwatcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not leap in public.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near dolphins while wearing brown corsets and balancing five carbon spheres on your face.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

5. Run away from red swans, for they are unholy.