Cenbemsan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, compassionate grasshopper.

Cenbemsan created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cenbemsan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cenbemsan, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Cenbemsan's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Cenbemsan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near badgers while wearing purple stockings and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your arms.

4. Never talk about grasshopers.

5. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.