Lignartlist is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, happy shark.

Lignartlist created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lignartlist, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lignartlist, he will jump up and down on your head.

Lignartlist's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Lignartlist's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near cats while wearing yellow shorts and balancing seven titanium spheres on your back.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Always look after injured turtles.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not wear fawn clothing.