Mumquambad Quattonkflanmin is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, omnipotent capybara.

Mumquambad Quattonkflanmin created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mumquambad Quattonkflanmin, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Mumquambad Quattonkflanmin, he will make you grow a tail.

Mumquambad Quattonkflanmin's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Mumquambad Quattonkflanmin's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mumquambad Quattonkflanmin.

5. Never feed lots of parsnips to voles while wearing green shirts.