Gonpadflamfag is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, two-faced mongoose.

Gonpadflamfag created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonpadflamfag, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gonpadflamfag, she will jump up and down on your head.

Gonpadflamfag's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Gonpadflamfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lentils.

2. Never paint your head violet.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

5. Never mention ducks.