Dubhotdad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, humorless spider.

Dubhotdad created the Cigar Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubhotdad, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dubhotdad, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Dubhotdad's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Dubhotdad's Holy Commandments

1. Dubhotdad loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Never think about gravity near foxes while wearing green stockings and balancing four lead spheres on your head.

5. Never run in holy places.