Rip Arpvenhitciss is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, tranquil troll.

Rip Arpvenhitciss created Asia four years ago.

If you believe in Rip Arpvenhitciss, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Rip Arpvenhitciss, he will make you grow a tail.

Rip Arpvenhitciss' most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Rip Arpvenhitciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Never go into cyan rooms.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.