Kabflismut is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, selfish porpoise.

Kabflismut created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabflismut, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kabflismut, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Kabflismut's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Kabflismut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about tomatoes.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.