Bimnurlpit is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omniscient naga.

Bimnurlpit created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimnurlpit, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bimnurlpit, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bimnurlpit's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bimnurlpit's Holy Commandments

1. Mice are not to be trusted.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bimnurlpit.