Habappgarnab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, deceitful hydra.

Habappgarnab created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habappgarnab, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Habappgarnab, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Habappgarnab's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Habappgarnab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Erect a giant green sculpture of Habappgarnab in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.