Gupkonlog is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, caring mink.

Gupkonlog created Asia six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupkonlog, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gupkonlog, he will turn you into a dog.

Gupkonlog's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Gupkonlog's Holy Commandments

1. Gupkonlog loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. You must never eat beans.

4. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

5. Do not cook food in pots.