Pitonthudzed is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, flying shrew.

Pitonthudzed created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitonthudzed, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pitonthudzed, it will turn you into a puffin.

Pitonthudzed's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Pitonthudzed's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never think about spacetime.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never eat turnips.