Ganvenwip is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, effective shark.

Ganvenwip created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Ganvenwip, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ganvenwip, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Ganvenwip's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Ganvenwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight shrews in a large pit.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never paint your back gray.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.