Gofomtsidmumyarpquat is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, proud centaur.

Gofomtsidmumyarpquat created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofomtsidmumyarpquat, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gofomtsidmumyarpquat, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Gofomtsidmumyarpquat's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Gofomtsidmumyarpquat's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Erect three carbon sculptures of Gofomtsidmumyarpquat on top of important buildings.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always stare at clouds.