Bonxem is a god.

He takes the form of a large, happy toad.

Bonxem created light eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonxem, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bonxem, he will turn you into a duck.

Bonxem's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bonxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. You must love Bonxem.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Hide from cyan mites for they are unholy.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bonxem.