Tafvidvogort is a god.

It takes the form of a small, egotistical spider.

Tafvidvogort created oxygen five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafvidvogort, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tafvidvogort, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tafvidvogort's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Tafvidvogort's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Retreat if eight moths approach from the west.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tafvidvogort.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.