Fumtofdam is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, benevolent scorpion.

Fumtofdam created the Large Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumtofdam, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fumtofdam, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Fumtofdam's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Fumtofdam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never feed lots of nuts to capybaras while wearing fawn kilts.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about quantum field theory.

5. Do not sing in public.