Gatyarpbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, overgenerous crow.

Gatyarpbeg created an electron two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gatyarpbeg, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gatyarpbeg, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gatyarpbeg's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Gatyarpbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat snakes with great respect.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Never talk about dark matter near cats while wearing orange jumpers.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.