Flabstikkom is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, resourceful walrus.

Flabstikkom created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabstikkom, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flabstikkom, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Flabstikkom's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Flabstikkom's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Flabstikkom four times a day.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. Flabstikkom loves cats, so they must be honoured.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.