Ortwit is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, awesome fish.

Ortwit created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortwit, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ortwit, it will laugh at you.

Ortwit's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Ortwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to geese while wearing magenta shoes.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about fire.