Quartwod is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, almighty beaver.

Quartwod created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quartwod, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quartwod, she will turn you into a plant.

Quartwod's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Quartwod's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three foxes approach from the south.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think ill of sick tortoises.