Tarpraksog is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, fussy narwhal.

Tarpraksog created a Higgs boson six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpraksog, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tarpraksog, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Tarpraksog's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Tarpraksog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Always wear black.

3. Tarpraksog loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think about dark matter.

5. Never look in ponds.