Neldutrigvan Cebsugtim is a god.

She takes the form of a large, overgenerous elephant.

Neldutrigvan Cebsugtim created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Neldutrigvan Cebsugtim, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Neldutrigvan Cebsugtim, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Neldutrigvan Cebsugtim's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Neldutrigvan Cebsugtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not take Neldutrigvan Cebsugtim's name in vain.