Quimarmtin is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, loving seal.

Quimarmtin created the Milkyway three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimarmtin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quimarmtin, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Quimarmtin's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Quimarmtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt doves.

2. Run away if eight snails approach from the west.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not take Quimarmtin's name in vain.