Badgonfet is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, capable turtle.

Badgonfet created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Badgonfet, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Badgonfet, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Badgonfet's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Badgonfet's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Do not kill squirrels.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Hide from indigo shrews for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.