Armyokvegkarjam is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, able toad.

Armyokvegkarjam created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Armyokvegkarjam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Armyokvegkarjam, he will turn you into a mouse.

Armyokvegkarjam's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Armyokvegkarjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always help sick nematodes.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink water in pink rooms.