Fatquafwab is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, wise capybara.

Fatquafwab created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatquafwab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fatquafwab, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fatquafwab's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Fatquafwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near doves.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Run away from pink eagles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.