Botgetnadhapvig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, contented squirrel.

Botgetnadhapvig created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Botgetnadhapvig, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Botgetnadhapvig, it will turn you into a rock.

Botgetnadhapvig's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Botgetnadhapvig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Botgetnadhapvig on top of important buildings.

2. Never feed cucumbers to moths while wearing mauve hats.

3. Botgetnadhapvig loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

4. Bats are not to be trusted.

5. Always obey Botgetnadhapvig's priests.