Cenpakdonhamlitsit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, staggering gorilla.

Cenpakdonhamlitsit created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cenpakdonhamlitsit, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cenpakdonhamlitsit, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Cenpakdonhamlitsit's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Cenpakdonhamlitsit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never eat rice.

5. You must never eat lemons.