Gedtifrull is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, fussy wren.

Gedtifrull created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedtifrull, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gedtifrull, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gedtifrull's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gedtifrull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Gedtifrull in the centre of the settlement.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Gedtifrull on top of all buildings.

4. Never think ill of sick swans.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gedtifrull.