Stragmifpang is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, quiet bear.

Stragmifpang created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Stragmifpang, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Stragmifpang, he will think nothing of it.

Stragmifpang's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Stragmifpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. You must pray to Stragmifpang four times a day.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Never eat spinach.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Stragmifpang on top of all buildings.