Zimlarnfly is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, temperamental jackal.

Zimlarnfly created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimlarnfly, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zimlarnfly, he will turn you into a worm.

Zimlarnfly's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Zimlarnfly's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Zimlarnfly.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never eat bark.