Cibartrig is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, resourceful mink.

Cibartrig created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cibartrig, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cibartrig, it will laugh at you.

Cibartrig's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Cibartrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Run away from yellow sheep, for they are unholy.

5. Pray towards the west.