Poncinstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, prudent duck.

Poncinstaf created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Poncinstaf, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Poncinstaf, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Poncinstaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Poncinstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about thermodynamics.